It's the morning of January 20, 2005, and I just listened to our President's Inaugural Speech. It was brilliant of course, spelling out to America specifically what he plans to do the next four years and exactly how he will do it. For example, he will fight for Freedom.

But he also said something today that I remember like it was said yesterday: some stuff about how the world must work together.

And I realized that it's in this theme of international unity that Mr. Bush refused to send a lot of excess money to Indonesia, Sri Lanka, and all those that had the tsunami incident. And it's for this same reason that you citizens need to stop going over his head and sending your own money.

Yeah, I've seen the numbers:  over 200,000 dead.  But have you bothered to look at the fine print?  They're just estimates!  It could be 150,000 dead or 100,000 or even just 80,000.  We aren't really told.  It's (everyone say it with me now) an estimate!

I mean, it was a tsunami! It's water! The stuff you shower with. Kids wash tricycles with it. As a matter of fact, there're probably some people on those shorelines who had a shop on fire or something when it happened, and this was actually the biggest miracle to come their way since sliced bread.

Now, before one of the Venerable Voices of Liberalism like Al Franken starts demonizing me on his cancelled radio show, let me state clearly: I am NOT saying we shouldn't provide any help to the tsunami victims. I'm merely saying that it shouldn't be in the form of money or aid or sending people over to advise about it. We must be focused on fixing things in our own country, like the war in Iraq.

Folks, the Media Elite puts up all these sexy ads asking for your contributions.  And you're just being manipulated into sending your money off to a bunch of shady organizations such as Ox-Fam (?? I've never heard of them in all my years of reading the news, and I read everything from The National Review to Guns & Ammo), Unicef (which is supposed to be about helping children, not tsunami victims), and the "Red Cross" (people, anyone can call themselves the Red Cross: I'm the Red Cross. See?).

Also, ahem...Has anyone forgotten that Indonesia is not exactly free and clear of terrorists? Now, I know the Liberals love terrorists and people getting killed, but I actually disagree with them and think that maybe we shouldn't be saying (however it would be said in Indonesian), "Here is some money. Do not use it for booze! It's for killing only! Bye."

You think I'm kidding? You think the Middle East has the monopoly on killers who hate freedom? Take a look at these old reviews for freedom, which I found on Amazon (a retail Web site). The second one is from an Indonesian fellow.

Now, maybe you'll think twice before sending that check and underhanding your President's mission.

But, if you decide to send the check, send it to the Red Cross. Oh, and, I'm the Red Cross.