So it is the holidays around now. To celebrate the holidays, at fucking Donnie’s Bar and Tavern were doing the secret Santa on Christmas afternoon, remember. The limits $15, were doing it white elephant style, and it can’t be a thing that, at the sight of it, would push people already close to the edge to the edge.

For uh decorations, the tree is up in my opinion (not in Deb’s opinion, though) and I got the picture of Santa that people can pass around.

Anyway, we got the Holiday drinks menu, so here it is:

The Fourth King - This is what Jesus H. would have been given by a fourth king/wise man if there was one. A bracing blend of Peirson’s (basically, a poor man’s poor man’s Everclear), mashed potato Schnapps, and fermented mythical gilderberries picked by a Bulgarian dude in a jealous fit of rage.

Tin Tree Star - 2 parts the first liquid that appears in the computer that day when Googling “Please, no,” the daily allowance of red wine as suggested by my buddy whose starting up an alternative to the FDA, a twist of “lime,” 2 parts this stuff the guy who sold it to me called “the future of eggnog,” and 1 part severe-grade gin.

The Santa Don’t Exist - A hot mug of Full Throttle energy drink spiked wit enough Walgreen’s brandy to make it so you forget what horrors the Ghost of Christmas Future shows you.