Our conservative columnist Bailey McAdams is back on TheDirk to give some straight talk to the American people:

Well, this Tuesday, voters across this great land will be going to the polls and electing our next president of the United States. And every one of them should get a sticker as they hand in their ballot. This sticker says, “I Voted.”

But imagine if that sticker said, “I Voted…For Gay Marriage.” How would it feel to wear that on your lapel? Or how about over your mouth and nose, so you couldn’t breathe? Or what if you wore it sort of lodged into your eye. You wouldn’t want that, right? So, if you wouldn’t wear a sticker that said you voted for gay marriage, that’s an indicator that you shouldn’t vote for gay marriage!

And if you California voters don’t vote YES on Proposition 8, homosexuals (including gays, gaywads, and gayrods) will continue to be able to legally marry in that state. And that ain’t some sticker (as you’ve probably guessed); that’s real.

First of all, if gay marriage continues to be legal, it would mean little California children will be taught about homosexuality in school! Think about it: Imagine, your little son or daughter sitting in the classroom, building a time machine or whatever kids do now in school, and the teacher inevitably says, “Gather around kids. We’re going to have our lesson about married couples.”

Now, if your child asks this teacher about why a man and woman live together, the teacher can obviously simply say, “Because they love each other and want to live together.” Innocent enough, and teaches the concept of love and commitment. Fine.

But, what if your little one asks why a man and a man live together? Well, what else can the teacher say but “Because they like to stroke each other’s cock and lick they balls noisily and ram it in each other hard. And put things in their anuses”? How else would they explain this crime against God? I can’t think of a tamer way. And imagine your child hearing this obscenity in their classroom! Needless to say, his/her cute little innocence would be lost forever.

So, if you vote against Prop 8, you’re right; your voting sticker won’t literally say, “I Voted…For Gay Marriage.” But it will say, “I Voted…To Destroy Children.” (Although, not literally.)