The following are the great (so far) unanswered jokes of our time:

– How many Pollacks does it take to make a village of 4,009 Irish forget that Italians even exist?

– What do you get you when you combine Dracula with a roasted turkey in a world where Fangsgiving is simply not possible?

– What time was it, exactly, when the unusually small elephant sat on the very sturdy gate made of granite?

– What is Frankenstein’s favorite flavor of ice cream?

–A pessimist walks into a bar, orders a drink and proceeds to gulp down half of it. He then, says, “Bartender! My drink is half empty!”

An optimist then walks into the same bar and orders a drink. He also, right away, drinks half of it. “Bartender! My drink is half full!” the optimist proclaims loudly (for some reason).

A humorist then walks into the bar and also orders a drink. He then begins to tell this very joke. The optimist and the pessimist (the pessimist slightly less so) are amused in their fuzzy haze of drink to realize how their situation is just like the one being described in the joke. But before the humorist gets to the punchline, he keels over dead.