2. “Sobbing” – Nintendo’s newest interactive offering for the Wii.

3. Norbit DVD - includes 83 minutes of deleted scenes and director’s commentary.

4. The Norton Anthology of Threats

5. JuicyKlose – A container lid/Bartlett pear set (by Brookstone).

6. Criterion’s “Bergman Bloopers” – Criterion honors the late genius’s film career with this DVD of laff-out-loud cut-outs from all of the guy’s movies! Includes a hilarious take from “Wild Strawberries” when Victor Sjostrom, playing the doctor, stares at the fighting couple but does so in such a way that doesn’t quite get across the plight of the human condition!

7. Starbucks Reminder Card – Holiday-themed sturdy plastic card that is easily carried in one’s wallet or purse and serves the purpose of reminding the holder of Starbucks’ existence.

8. Leather-bound complete Wikipedia encyclopedia set (84 volumes and daily delivery of CorrectRight^® supplement booklets which possibly correct any false content in the original set [or in previous supplement booklets])

9. Hasbro’s My Little Pony (Not Yours)^TM

10. Harry and David’s Indeterminate Number of Months of Fruit Club membership

Go to “Gifts” category to see the worst gifts of the last couple of years, okay?

For uh decorations, the tree is up in my opinion (not in Deb’s opinion, though) and I got the picture of Santa that people can pass around.

Anyway, we got the Holiday drinks menu, so here it is:

The Fourth King – This is what Jesus H. would have been given by a fourth king/wise man if there was one. A bracing blend of Peirson’s (basically, a poor man’s poor man’s Everclear), mashed potato Schnapps, and fermented mythical gilderberries picked by a Bulgarian dude in a jealous fit of rage.

Tin Tree Star – 2 parts the first liquid that appears in the computer that day when Googling “Please, no,” the daily allowance of red wine as suggested by my buddy whose starting up an alternative to the FDA, a twist of “lime,” 2 parts this stuff the guy who sold it to me called “the future of eggnog,” and 1 part severe-grade gin.

The Santa Don’t Exist – A hot mug of Full Throttle energy drink spiked wit enough Walgreen’s brandy to make it so you forget what horrors the Ghost of Christmas Future shows you.