Sports Journalist Doesn’t Think of Obvious Pun for Headline

Scottsdale, AZ - Derek Johns, sportswriter for the Scottsdale Lender newspaper, is beating himself up over a missed opportunity. For the Saturday edition of the paper, he reported on the lopsided 47-7 victory of the Scottsdale High Matadors over the Flagstaff South High Bulls only to come up with the headline “Matadors Win the Game Against Bulls.”

When called for comment, Johns didn’t at first understand why his most recent article was of interest: “So, what’s the problem? ‘Matadors Win the Game Against Bulls.’ That’s an amazing headline. It succinctly but cleverly says so much about the game. I thought about it for a long time.” But when it was suggested he could have, instead, topped off the story with something like “Matadors Lance Bulls,” Johns wept and hung up the phone.

Ford Recalls Four Models that Could Cause Immediate Death

Detroit, MI - Ford Motor Company announced today that it is recalling four of its 2007 models including the Taurus, the Escape, and the popular Focus.

“These four models, we are saddened to say, will explode if the driver does not put the key into the ignition exactly the right way. Please, if you own one of these four models, which include the Taurus, the Escape, and the Focus, contact your nearest Ford dealership to come pick up the car. You should not drive it even once more,” said Ford CEO whatshisname.