Thank thou very much for submitting "The Gospel According to Terry" for consideration to be included in The New Testament, the anthology we're compiling of stories relating to the short but rather profound life of Jesus H. Christ.

However, as thou may have already determined from the relatively thin scroll on which this is written, we are unable to use your story.

First of all, "The Gospel According to Terry" is nothing like the four other gospels we've so far decided to include in the anthology. And it is our feeling that the same story told many consecutive times in only slightly different ways is definitely the key to capturing the attention of the modern reader.

Also, we gather from your rather racy if not lurid hot tub scene that thou may not be cognizant of the fact that God did not "get it on" with Mary in order to begat Jesus. She actually conceived the Christ child through an alternative method by which a couple may create a life without having to withstand the various pleasures of copulation.

We also find your portrayal of Jesus's twentysomething years as a period of "religious experimentation" unlikely. The vignettes of him rejecting Judaism, dabbling in Buddhism for several years, satisfying his retro phase through worship of Zeus, and finally settling with Hinduism are enjoyable as whimsical coming-of-age storytelling, but, we feel, they clash somewhat with our concept of the man and the reasons we're compiling this anthology altogether.

And, if we may comment on style, your use of nonlinear narrative is quite interesting except that there seems to be a disjunction that occurs which thou may have detected with closer rereading: Thou begin with Jesus taking his last breaths on the cross and reflecting on his life in the first person. Thou then tell the story of Jesus's life through the use of flashback. But, just when that flashback should have been converging with the present (Jesus on the cross), thou have him killed instead in "an almost impossibly bizarre cart collision." 

We hope thou find our comments constructive. And we thank thou again for your submission, hope that thou purchase The Bible, which will be a two-for-one publication comprised of our anthology as well as the Old Testament, and invite thou to submit to the last installment of the trilogy, which we hope to undertake in the upcoming years.

Also, just as an FYI, the various factual errors depicted in your manuscript could result in your burning in fiery Hell for eternity. So thou may want to look into the various means of redemption.

Thank thou again.