The T.G.I.Friday’s Round Table is a group of El Segundo, CA, administrative assistants, public relations specialists, IT staff members, and sales associates that meets every day at the T.G.I.Friday’s for lunch or happy hour to trade quips and witticisms. These gathering have become widely known as a source of many of today’s greatest sayings and most biting observations. A few of the best-known classic interchanges–involving the likes of Todd Barnes, Brian Vellerman, and Karen McGee among other giants–are below:

Brian Kinney: (angry) “Hey, Todd! Did you freakin’ eat my lunch that I had in the break room fridge?”

Todd Barnes: “Yeah. I believe so. It had your name on it.”

Brian Vellerman: “Yeah. Sorry. But that guy cannot control a meeting. I mean, I could pull it out and start jerking off right there at the conference table during an Operations Review and he would still be too scared to tell me to stop.”

Karen McGee: “But you did pull it out once during a meeting and start jerking off!”

Brian Vellerman: “Yeah. I know, Karen. But I’m talking figuratively now, not literally. Jesus.”

Dan Stearman: “You guys wanna see ‘Spider-Man 3′ with me at Kingfield Mall tonight?”

Pedro Tample: “I don’t know. I don’t know anyone who’s liked it at all.”

Dan Stearman: “Yeah, I know, but there’s nothing else out right now I wanna see either. So I kind of have to see it.”

Cheryl Burke: “And he was like, ‘You’re so hot!’ and I was like, ‘C’mon! Give me a break! What are you talking about?’”

Maria Timmerman: “You are hot.”

Cheryl Burke: “Oh, give me a break.”

Maria Timmerman: “You know it’s true. I mean, right now, you’re wearing no top and just nipple tassels.”

Cheryl Burke: “Oh, this is all I had that was clean. And they’re really comfortable.”

Diane Oberman: “And they said the Sears Tower is, like, 20 miles tall or something.”

Chester Feldman: “I think that might be not right.”

Chris Wong: “It’s like a quarter mile tall at most.”

Diane Oberman: “That’s what it was! A quarter mile! I forgot exactly, but I knew it was something like that.”

Percy Udge: “Dude! He freaking dropped a pen right ON the floor!”

Brian Tight: “Ha! Ha! That’s hilarious, dude! When was this?”

Percy Udge: “It was last year around getting ready for the trade show. Just outright dropped that ink pen, bro!”

Brian Tight: “God, so funny, dude.”

As you know, the T.G.I.Friday’s Round Table is a group of El Segundo, CA, administrative assistants, public relations specialists, IT staff members, and sales associates that meets every day at the T.G.I.Friday’s for lunch or happy hour to trade quips and witticisms. These gathering have become widely known as a source of many of today’s greatest sayings and most biting observations. A few of the best-known classic interchanges–involving the likes of Todd Barnes, Brian Vellerman, and Karen McGee among other giants–are below:

Brian Kinney: “Dude, I’m totally getting an Ultimate Mudslide.”

Todd Barnes: “It’s lunch, dude.”

Brian Kinney: “It’s not that much alcohol, dude. But I’m not getting one unless other people buy drinks.”

Palermo Rodriguez: “Could you imagine? We’d be like drunk at work, trying to do work at our desks.”

Brian Vellerman: “That was so freaking lame. I had just written that thing and I found out Greg did the same thing. There is no communication. Such idiots!” (Takes a sip of Ultimate Margarita, then, sarcastic) “Oop. Did I say that out loud?”

Karen McGee: “Don’t hold back, Brian. Tell us how you really feel!”

Dan Stearman: “And she had those tight freaking white pants. Dang!”

Pedro Tample: “Fuckin’ hot, dude. No doubt.

Dan Stearman: “Well, and when I said we were coming over here tonight, she said maybe we could share a plate of Skinny Dippers. She’s supposed to get here. She had to finish some benefits stuff.”

Pedro Tample: “You know she likes the guy at the bank downstairs, right?”

Dan Stearman: “I don’t know. She said she would share a plate of Skinny Dippers with me. She wouldn’t say that. She’d know that that would mean something and all that. ”

Pedro Tample: “Huh?”

Dan Stearman: “She was gonna call my cell. Gotta slap that ayyyassss!!!”

(He checks his cell.)

Pedro Tample: “Let me see your cell. Pretty sweet. What service you got?”

Cheryl Burke: “So, are you going in tomorrow or Sunday?”

Maria Timmerman: “I’ll just go in tomorrow after I take Jason to karate. For a few hours.”

Cheryl Burke: “Okay. Just put the binders you do on my chair. You know how I like ‘em.”

Maria Timmerman: “Right. Okay.”

Cheryl Burke: “Be ready Sunday, though. I might call you after I get to Miami to ship me some stuff for Monday.”

Maria Timmerman: “Okay. We’ll I’ll be at my parents that day for a BBQ. They don’t have good cell reception, so I’ll give you their number.”

Waitress: “Jack Daniel’s Sampler.”

(She puts the plate down.)

Diane Oberman: (sarcastic) “This lo-cal, right?”

Waitress: (smiles pleasantly enough) “Yeah, right.”

Waitress: “Okay. Here’s your check whenever you’re ready, guys.”

(She places it near Peter Ford.)

Brian Vellerman: “Hey, Peter. You’re paying for all of us? Really nice of you!”

Peter Ford: (smiling pleasantly enough, a little tired) “Yeah, right. You pay double!”

Eric Ritter: “Do that Cartman thing.”

Shane Arrol: (like South Park’s Eric Cartman) “Seriously, you guys. I’m goin’ home.”

Chris Wong: Pretty good. But “Family Guy” does blow “South Park” away.

Eric Ritter: Right. This coming from the same guy who thought “Superman Returns” was good. May you die at the hands of the insurgency, pud.

(Raises his Ultimate Hawaiian Volcano in a mock toast.)