Pyotr Rubinovich, one of the civil servants here at TheDirk.com, frankly has other pursuits in life and really only works for our Web site to pay the bills. During one of his lunch breaks, he carried his quill and ink well in with him to the break room, heated up a Weight Watchers, and wrote out his goals in order of priority:

Pytor

1. Study for the LSAT

2. Spend more quality time with parents

3. Live such that I have more anecdotes to tell

4. Take old dioramas to the Salvation Army

5. Be a little more tense

But, one afternoon, Pyotr took his pot of stew out of the fridge and one thing led to another and he was engulfed in flames. This is the list of goals he wrote while he was on fire:

1. Get…stop being in flames

2. Study for the LSAT

3. Spend more quality time with parents

4. Take old dioramas to the Rba (sic)…to the Slavation (sic) Army

5. Live such that I have more anecdotes to tell

Just a lesson how, sometimes, what you once thought was so important doesn’t mean so much when life gets a little tough.

One of our VPs of Marketing, Dirk Vortberg (sp?) banks with Bank of America. Earlier today, he went online to check on his account. We’re proud to announce that he subsequently successfully signed out of that same online account! Congratulations, Dirk! Check it out!

Our first in a series of humor developed by someone really tired!

Here is the 7th worst door of 2005 as determined by a survey of 14,122 Americans across a full spectrum of demographics. Overall, the door fails to fill out the entire door frame and has only one hinge and has to be fed and bites.