This is a classic DIDYAKNOW about Valentime’s Day:

DIDYAKNOW that, because prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, there was no other professions by which clients could earn money to pay the first hookers. So it was at this point that men invented love as a means of OBTAINING SEX FOR FREE!

DIDYAKNOW the ears of crickets are located on the front legs, just below the knees…OF A SINGLE POLAR BEAR WHO’S GETTING QUITE OLD!

DIDYAKNOW moths have no stomach! That’s right! Instead, they have a blunar, which acts as THEIR STOMACH!

DIDYAF’NKNOW the Listeria monocytogenes, the largest known bacterium, can grow to a size of up to 5.0 MICROMETERS!

DIDYAKNOW chimps are the only animal that can recognize themselves in a mirror, and kangaroos are the only animal that can recognize a little bit of themselves in the protaganists of truly PROFOUND SHORT STORIES!

DIDYAKNOW that Eskimoes have 49 words for “snow,” many East Asian cultures have no word for “hate,” and English language speakers HAVE NO WORDS FOR (whatever the word is)!!!

DIDYAKNOW that the Oedipus Complex is not limited merely to your desires regarding your parents? That’s right! According to Freud, not only do you want to sleep with your mother and kill your father, you also want to shake hands with your uncle and MOLD YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW IN CHOCOLATE!

- DIDYAKNOW that it’s safer to hole up in your apartment, never leave your bed, put a gun under your pillow, and never answer your door than it IS TO DRIVE A CAR!

- DIDYAKNOW that the peregrine falcon is the fastest bird in the world, flying at speeds of 168-217 miles per hour. IT CAN BE KILLED EASILY BY GUN.

- DIDYAKNOW that the toughest movie critic in history was named Tab Posten, who wrote for the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Although some witnesses still claim he didn’t quite finish doing so before collapsing in exhaustion, most of the Uncle Ben’s Film Critics Clash 2004 judges confirm that Posten did, to win the grueling finals of that competition, characterize Matthew Barney’s “The Cremaster Cycle” AS “CLICHÉ“!

- DIDYAKNOW that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body? Of course, the tongue can’t lift a Christmas tree stand like your arms can, but that’s only because the arm muscles are stronger!

- DIDYAKNOW that the heaviest man in the world, Manuel Uribe of Mexico, is so large he has to wear 8 pairs of XXL-sized pants and that, when he wears a bow tie, it appears so small compared to his large body that the resulting visual effect is strange!

- DIDYAKNOW that the record for tallest person ever imagined was broken last year by a Russian purple man conjured up in the mind of 8-year-old Lansford Crupe. The imagined man is 80,040,000,000,000′ 7″ tall as confirmed by researchers! Young Britton was quoted as stating that he thinks he can devise someone who will break the record yet again next year.

- DIDYAKNOW Humphrey Bogart never actually says, “Play it again, Sam” in “Casablanca,” AND Dustin Hoffman never actually gets impaled by a charging rhino IN “KRAMER VS. KRAMER”!

- DIDYAKNOW that life after college IS SO HARD!

- DIDYAKNOW dogs only see in black and white. That’s right! They really have NO GRASP OF THE COMPLEXITIES OF SO MANY ISSUES OF TODAY’S WORLD!

DIDYAKNOW that heart disease, the Silent Killer, was originally the Loud, Boastful Killer before it was asked to please TURN IT DOWN A NOTCH!

DIDYAKNOW that, according to scientists (and one barista), in a Tour de France in which no doping actually occurred, 98.7% of the pack would quit or peter out around Day 4 and the winner would be whoever managed to not collapse until crossing the half-WAY POINT ON DAY 5!

DIDYAKNOW that, at a Chicago White Stockings baseball game recently, when a man asked a t-shirt vendor what was the biggest size he sold, and the vendor replied, “XXL,” the man then said, “Oh, never mind. That’s too big”!

DIDYAKNOW that the mug was originally invented as a religion! It was only after the second disastrous Mugmas that a certain peasant woman realized that all she believed in was wrong. Crushed at this realization, the woman did however discover that her “religion” was an excellent means of distributing MEAD TO HER MOUTH!

DIDYAKNOW that the ant can carry more than 100 times its weight! If a human could do that, he’d be able to lift the equivalent of a heavy TV with NO STRAIN!

DIDYAKNOW that the average American eats 14 pounds of potato chips a year! That’s nearly .04 POUNDS PER DAY!

DIDYAKNOW that it takes many more muscles to frown than it does to smile? That’s right! BEING SAD IS A MUCH BETTER WORKOUT!

WEIRD LAWS! DIDYAKNOW that, in Alabama, you could technically be arrested for burning down a house and KILLING ITS INHABITANTS!

DIDYAKNOW that the Blue Rinetail (a fictional bird) can FLY F’N BACKWARDS!