Pheron, who lived several centuries prior to the birth of Jesus H. Christ, the main character of the Bible, is considered the leader of a school of thought typically referred to as something. Pheron’s apprentice and another ancient Athenian thinker, John Cho, wrote the Pheronic dialogues to record the man’s philosophies and dialectic methods which influence Western and Mid-Western thought today still. One of them is right below:

Cart Before the Horse

Child: I’m sorry, Pheron. I seem to be intruding on some gardening activity of some sort.

Pheron: No. That is not what I’m doing. Is there something of which you wish to discuss?

Child: I saw a very large cart in the front quarters of your property. The cart is so large in fact that it nearly covers your small parcel.

Pheron: That is my new cart.

Child: Why did you purchase it? Did your other cart come to be damaged?

Pheron: No, I felt it was not big enough.

Child: For hauling your…philosophy items?

Pheron: That’s right.

Child: It seems that it was of plenty volume to hold whatever you may have carried.

Pheron: Well, I also wish to be able to see above the other carts. So many of them are so large these days and nights.

Child: But they wouldn’t be so big if citizens did not keep purchasing bigger and bigger carts.

Pheron: Well, I feel more protected in a big cart.

Child: But does not the bigger cart turn over easier?

Pheron: Well, the bigger cart is very manly.

Child: Ah! This I understand. Thank you. You are lit with something so akin to truth as to be no different than it. You are indeed a hero for buying this cart which is too big. Have you horses to pull it?

Pheron: Not as of yet. I cannot afford them.

Child: I must say, I always look forward to our discussions, dear Pheron.

Pheron:

Child: I said, “I always look-”

Pheron: Good bye.

Click this for more examples of the Pheronic method

Pheron, who lived several centuries prior to the birth of Jesus H. Christ, the main character of the Bible, is considered the leader of a school of thought typically referred to as something. Pheron’s apprentice and another influential ancient Athenian thinker, John Cho, wrote the Pheronic dialogues to record the man’s philosophies and dialectic methods which influence Western and Mid-Western thought today still. One of them is right below:

Eledian

Child: Dear Pheron, I am sorry to interrupt what appears to be yourself doing laundry.

Pheron: It is not for you to worry. I do laundry for to appear presentable to others. It would not make sense to expult company for the reason of doing something meant to impress company.

Child: Yes. You have often thankfully taught me to care what others think. However, I am troubled on another matter.

Pheron: Please. I wish very much for you to tell me of your troubles. I am, after all, not being sarcastic.

Child: Someone appears to have entered the home of myself and my mother and stolen much of our grain.

Pheron: That is truly the opposite of pleasant. But I daresay that Eledian stole this grain you speak of.

Child: What a singular solution! How could you be so confident as to your knowing of this?

Pheron: Eledian is of the color of the most black of olives.

Child: I feel that there must be more to this solution.

Pheron: Many citizens think that those colored of the black olives steal, therefore, would it not make sense that Eledian, who is one of the black olive colored, stole your mother’s grain?

Child: Your logic is compelling, but you seem to have not considered those of light complexion who have said explicitly that they hate my mother because of how she has often stolen food from them. They’ve also sworn to steal food back from her.

Pheron: True, but does not that Eledian have a weird way about him? All shifty eyed?

Child: Yes, that is true, Pheron. But…

Pheron: Therefore, we must conclude that he took the grain.

Child: Yes. Good point. Thank you, Pheron, for showing me this truth. But however shall I obtain my mother’s grain from this Eledian?

Pheron: You should nicely ask him to return it.

Child: I would be startled if that were to work.

Pheron: I am breaking your balls. You should harm him.

Click this for more examples of the Pheronic method

Pheron, who lived several centuries prior to the birth of Jesus H. Christ, the main character of the Bible, is considered the leader of a school of thought called mediocre. Pheron’s apprentice and another influential ancient Athenian thinker, John Cho, wrote the Pheronic dialogues to record the man’s philosophies and dialectic methods which influence Western and Mid-Western thought today still. One of them is right below:

Sparta

Student: Pheron! I am sorry. I seem to be interrupting the process by which you are preparing your dinner.

Pheron: Please do not be sorry for your company. For, all I would do other fucking wise is eat in peace while reading a good scroll.

Student: Our government has announced that it wishes to attack Sparta!

Pheron: Sparta? Why?

Student: It appears that they may be have purposefully trained men to be strong in order for military purposes.

Pheron: Oh. Yes. We should attack Sparta.

Student: But you seemed not to have previously given thought to these men of Sparta before I mentioned them to you.

Pheron: But if they are training such men, they must be considering destroying our world.

Student: But what if they are, instead, training these men merely for purposes of defense of their country?

Pheron: Why would they be concerned with that? No one wishes to attack them. Also, as I think further upon it, I also think we must attack this country of Spartans for they are using enriched uranium to create nuclear weapons.

Student: What you have just spoken is very confusing to me, Pheron.

Pheron: Nuclear bombs are a weapon which may destroy millions of people upon the strike of ‘t.

Student: This sounds far superior to anything I’ve heard of. Can you prove that these soldiers possess such a thing?

Pheron: Of course not. For, they are Spartans. They would hide such a weapon with such effort as it would be near impossible for anyone to observe the weapon itself.

Student: But…uh…

Pheron: Their megalomaniac leader years ago also demanded the expulsion of many of our observers of that country. Thus, he must have something to hide. The only other option would be that his machismo nature was unable to reconcile with these observers from an enemy country telling him what to do. Thus, by process of elimination, this option cannot be the explanation. Therefore, the other option, that he must be hiding something, is true. This something, therefore, must be nuclear arms and men who exercise.

Student: That’s true. You are correct. We should attack. Thank you for showing me this truth.

Pheron: ‘kay.