TricksExplained.com Figures Out How God Did It

Boston, MA - Ivan Preston, owner of a website dedicated to explaining how to do various magic tricks, TricksExplained.com, says the trick he posted yesterday has spiked daily traffic to his site by the hundreds. And it’s no wonder: He and a couple of his other amateur magician friends had spent the last several months figuring out the mysterious ways of God, the popular magician best known for His creating all things trick.

“Yeah. When we finally realized the deal behind how He created man, we laughed our butts off because it’s really pretty simple, yet no one figured it out before now,” gleed Preston. “While most people realize it starts with getting together some earth, the rest of the trick is left out of the Bible. Well, it’s basically a sort of reversal of the saw-the-lady-in-half trick.”

They even deciphered the create-the-universe trick: “That took some doing because we had to find a place to recreate the universe. But when we finally rented a place, we actually figured it out in just a couple of days. You can do it with a plexiglass platform and you have to hold a quarter in between your thumb and palm with the back of the hand facing the audience. Now, God didn’t have an audience or a quarter, but you get my drift. Then, well…you have to visit the site to find out!” Preston said.

While referring to a trick of not God per se, but rather his son Jesus H. Christ, a comment posted on Preston’s site wondered if he’d ever broken the code of the water-into-wine trick.

“That is really just a masterpiece of distraction. Jesus made the wine just as anyone would–you know, grapes and fermenting and all that–but he keeps his audience’s minds and eyes occupied while aging the wine.”

RELATED NEWS: The Fertogn(x)s, evil occupants of Sector 7& of the alternate universe created by TricksExplained.com, are preparing to attack Earth, which has no feasible defense against their indescribable weaponry.

Magician God doing another of his popular tricks: making a toy boat float

tags:God,magic,new satire,The Lord,The Lord-uh

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