Woman Says Couple’s Safety Word Before Boyfriend Can Kiss Her on Cheek
“I just came home from work. She was watching ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ I went to give her a peck on the cheek, and she says, ‘telescope.’ Never takes her eyes off the TV,” says boyfriend.
MAD Magazine Headquarters Explode During Staff’s Attempts to Write Parody of MAD
New York, NY - Early this morning, the employees of the Mail Pouch Chewing Tobacco headquarters in the Chrysler Building in Manhattan wondered what that burning smell was and why smoke was pouring through this, the offices of one of the Fortune 50 Manufacturers of Smokeless Tobacco.
They soon found out. But almost not just in time.
“I took the elevator up a floor, to the Mad offices, and saw nothing but flames, smoke, and people dressed like characters from ‘The Squid and The Whale,’ said Verna Gonzalez, administrative assistant at Mail Pouch. Those flames and the choking smoke were, according to investigators, the wake of a tremendous explosion in one of the parody magazine’s conference rooms.
“The editor, several writers, and an illustrator were attempting to do what original publisher William Gaines always said should not be tried: parodying the magazine itself,” said Raymond Kelly, New York City Police Commissioner.
Witnesses claim the small group assembled in the conference room to begin to hash out the impossible issue. “They’d done a parody of ‘Bleccch’s Anatomy’ called ‘Bleecchbleeecch’s And That Crock Is Not On Me (TV)’ and you could tell that that alone almost destroyed them. They were sweating, looking really pale, couldn’t stand upright. Then, when they began to plan out the Fold-In fold-out, they started to vibrate and what could best be described as a vortex of dimensions turning in on themselves formed in the middle of the room and collapsed into a singularity and a blast like I’d never seen practically blinded me. A second later, I heard it, loud as hell,” said Branford Brack, Mad’s head of solutions management. “Everyone was telling them before that to stop. But they kept on going saying, ‘We can do this and the world will be ours!’”
The names of the 34 killed in the explosion have not yet been released, but the event was declared by the NYPD to not be officially considered a tragedy as the dead did not include Sergio Aragones.
Recent issue of Mad magazine
