Archive for October, 2007
Halloween Sale at Bryson’s!
Tuesday, October 30th, 2007An Elders of The Dark Tower (of Xxoron) Halloween Treat!
Tuesday, October 30th, 2007World Products Inc. Costume Contest Results
Saturday, October 27th, 2007
To: AllCompany
From: Susan White
Date: October 31, 2007 4:32 PM
Here are the winners of the costume contest we had today
1. Dan Branson — 70′s disco outfit (also most Creative). Even had the shirt with big collar and afro wig. He wore it last year too, so it could also be said he dressed as his last year’s self which earns 7 “meta” points.
2. Josh Nelson — Spock on “Star Trek”. Felix Wayner also did Spock but Josh went the extra mile by having the pointy eyebrows and the pointy ears, black hair and a blue shirt and boots.
3. Erin DeLunier — Angel. Erin was not able to wear costume because of the meeting with Telex but she said she would’ve had real feather wings and a halo that really floated above her head and would have taken us to Our Heavenly Father’s throne room. (That would have been incredible so this gets Most Original.)
(BTW, some of you were wondering what’s the difference between the Most Original and Most Creative categories. None of the judges knew the answer to that but they did confirm that they are in fact judged differently.)
4. Rudolph Vern — Thierry Amar of Yiddish folk band Black Ox Orkestar. Did the way he walks pretty well too.
5. Susana Hernandez — Sexy nurse. Nice touch with nurses’ hat and the Red Cross shaped nipple tassles.
6. Geoff Shierry — (also scariest costume of the day winner) Vampire. Yusef Shaloub also was a vampire but vampires look different than he did.
7. Marybeth Baker — wore a mask.
8. Randall Short — either the California Raisins or a phone
9. Wei Wang — (also Most Funny) an extremely sad mother
10. Chelsea Winter — a retrospective of Italian film
Your participation in the fun today demonstrates our World Products spirit. Happy halloween.
Sheryl White
Asst. LVP of Human Resources
swhite@worldproducts.com
(343)764-1290
“If you love your work, it’s not work!”
_______________________________________
To: Susan White
From: Dan Epstein
Date: October 31, 2007 4:48 PM
Sheryl,
Just FYI. The items Susana wore upon her bosom today are spelled “tassels.” “Tassles,” as from your e-mail of 4:32 pm today, spells something of which I am not familiar.
~Dan
Dan Epstein
Sr. IT Engineer
depstein(at)worldproducts.com
(343)764-1284
“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.” – Douglas Adams
________________________________________________________________________________
To: Dan Epstein
From: Susan White
Date: October 31, 2007 5:07 PM
okay
Sheryl White
Asst. LVP of Human Resources
swhite@worldproducts.com
(343)764-1290
“If you love your work, it’s not work!”
You Got Yourself an Amazon Review Right Here!
Thursday, October 25th, 2007Our resident Amazon reviewer tells the world what we need to think about the new single by Band of Horses, “Is There a Ghost?”
Click here for that.
An Elders Thingajig!
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007Here’s the new video sketch by The Elders of The Dark Tower (of Xxoron) of which one of our marketing VPs is a part.
Ask Dr. Science-Patterson!
Thursday, October 18th, 2007
Hey Dr. Science-Patterson! I understand that a water molecule is made up of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. But how do those different atoms together? – Swimming in Science in Schenectady, NY
Dear Swimming in Science - You seem to have missed a word between “atoms” and “together” in your question. I assume you meant to ask, “But how do those different atoms serious together,” which doesn’t make sense.
Water molecules or whatever
More of Those Office Humor Cliche Upgrades!
Wednesday, October 17th, 2007
Here are more office humor cliches–those things people say in response to typical office situations even though they know they’re not worth saying. Then, per usual, our staff updated each cliche to better fit our modren times.
Here:
When a coworker introduces you to their non-work friend and the friend says to you, “Oh, yeah. I’ve heard about you”:
Old: “All good things, I hope! Ha! Ha!”
New: “There’s birds about me? Huh? Oh, you’ve heard about me. Probably not good things. Ha! Ha!”
When you’re in a meeting with a client who flew in from California to your cold Midwest state:
Old: “Thanks for flying all the way from California! Did you bring any of that beautiful weather with ya? Ha! Ha!”
New: “This harsh weather depresses me something special! It’s just gray and lifeless for months! Ha! Ha!”
When you get in the elevator at the end of the work day and it luckily doesn’t stop on any other floors between your company’s floor and the parking garage.
Old: “Hey, looks like we got the express! Ha! Ha!”
New: “Hmm? Oh, this is my floor already? Sorry, I was daydreaming about what could have been! Ha! Ha!”
When you come in in the morning on a Tuesday or Wednesday:
Old: “Is it Friday yet? Ha! Ha!”
New: “I wish I could just get on a horse and ride and ride and ride forever, the headwind blowing the tears off my face! Ha! Ha!”
—–
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Thursday, October 11th, 2007Today, we wanted to honor a giant of humor prose and who better fits that description than Woody Allen? James Thurber. Below, we reprint his classic New Yorker piece, “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”:
“I’m going to kill myself,” the Commander muttered to himself as he stood on the wobbly chair in his sultry motel room in the middle of this endless lonely Arizona desert. “Jesus. I’m so sad. I’ll just put this noose around my neck and fall into the sweet sleep of forever…”
“Walter! What in Heaven’s name are you doing now?” barked Mrs. Mitty. Walter Mitty woke out of his daydream and looked back at his wife, in the seat beside him, with shocked astonishment. She seemed grossly unfamiliar, like a strange woman who had yelled at him in a crowd. She had gotten back into the car after finishing her hair appointment at the New Milford salon.
“Why do you have that gun to your head?” she asked.
“I’m going to kill myself,” Walter replied.
“In Rainbows” Artwork
Thursday, October 11th, 2007Radiohead did not include artwork with their new album. So whatever you had put in your iTunes thinking it was the artwork, it wasn’t.
Anyways, the TheDirk staff has developed these over the last two days and just finished testing them. Feel free to use (them).
Elders of The Dark Tower (of Xxoron) Have This New Thing!
Tuesday, October 9th, 2007Here’s the new video from Elders of The Dark Tower (of Xxoron). Pay whatever you feel is appropriate.