Behold, the first video from The Elders of the Dark Tower (of Xxoron)…

This here directed by Steve Yager, acted upon by John P. Nelson and one of our VPs of Marketing, Dirk Voetberg

Can you answer these riddles or not?

I’m a room, but I have no walls and no ceiling. WHAT AM I?

ANSWER: A mushroom! (Think about it: A mushroom has no walls and no ceiling and, although it’s not really a room and, therefore, the riddle is kind of a cheat, you should have remembered doing this exact same brain teaser 20 or 30 times before in your life.)

I have colorful scales for skin. I have “fish” eyes and a “fish” tail. I live underwater, never coming up for air, but I’m not a fish. WHAT AM I?

ANSWER: A fish! (Think about it: It says it’s not a fish, but it simply has to be; The rest of it undeniably describes a fish.)

I have eyes, but no ears. I have a mouth, but no nose. I have a heart, but no blood. What am I?

ANSWER: Fuck if you know! (Think about it: This description really describes something hard to imagine.)

DIDYAKNOW that it’s impossible to imagine Vice President Cheney AS A BABY?

DIDYAKNOW that the hottest pepper ever picked was grown by the Texas A&M botany department in 2003 and was so hot that it VAPORIZED PLANET EARTH?

DIDYAKNOW that hurting people in a big way will be added as an Olympic sport STARTING IN 2014?

Click up in it to get the episode! REMEMBER: This can be (and is) quite crass.