Amidst All the Building Potter Fervor, Author Rowling Privately Freaking Out Because Book Just Isn’t Very Good

Slumping San Fran Batter Bonds Admits Being “Embarrassed to Wear the Uniform”

Given Permission to Remove the Bells from His Bustle

Critics Blast World’s Tallest Man/World’s Shortest Man Handshake Event

“The Same Result Could Have Been Accomplished with Two Much More Easily Attainable Average Height People,” Says One

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