Headline - British Knights
Britain’s Knights “Far from Battle-Ready”
London, England - Tony Blair, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, will resign from his post on 27 June, 2007 AD. But what shall be his legacy? His economic and educational policies have done splendidly. But, even though his country’s involvement in the Iraqi war has been smooth-sailing thus far, the nation (peopled mostly by musicians, dry-witted comedians, people with monocles and tea, and amateur gardeners) grows concerned with the state of its rank of knights to which author Salman Rushdie has just been added this previous week.
“We won’t be able to enter into battle very successfully with the knights being in the state they’re in, n’it?” worried Brighton Allairs, a member of the House of Lords. “They’re far from battle ready, n’it?”
As a matter of fact, the modern-day rank of knights now seems more talented in the writing of letters and the composing of whimsical music than they are at swinging a mace or impaling with a lance or even cowering behind a shield. “Britain’s knights are indeed considered in the worst state of battle-readiness since knights began to fight England’s wars in the year 400,” said Easton Towers Professor of Olde Tyme Fighting at Oxford University. “Blair and the previous administrations’ Defense Department predictions that combat will be more rock-and-roll- or fiction writing-based in the modern era has proven very wrong.”
British Knights Salman Rushdie and Andrew Lloyd Webber would most likely be killed immediately upon entrance to a battle