Warshington, DC – At this morning’s news conference at The White House, reporter for the Washington Post, Anthony Price, found himself arrested and his life altered for the worse as a result of the extent to which President Bush did not answer his question.
Click here to hear the clip.
Below are some of the signs currently posted up at Donnie’s Bar & Tavern:
Was Not a Virgin Birth; Mother Had Mated
Warshington, DC – “Four years and it’s only gotten worse in Iraq. It’s time to get out,” decreed United States Prime Minister Susan Lucci. “And I’ve already ordered the president to begin the pullout immediately.”
Speaking this morning to a pool of reporters in front of the Blake Mansion, the once-starlet of soap opera Days of Our Lives or something of that ilk used her office’s constitutionally-provided powers today to order President Bush’s immediate withdrawal of all troops from Iraq. “I’ve stayed out of this one long enough. The president wanted time to prove he was right about this conflict. But it’s over now.”
Pundits are curious to see if Lucci’s approval rating remains at approximately 88% after this announcement or if it could rise even higher.
United States Prime Minister Lucci’s official portrait
Hey, Dr. Science! How do cameras work? They’re so neat how they do that! Lens Looney in Brighton, NJ
Dear, Lens Looney – Scientists have not yet determined the full details of how the camera works. However, basically, the popular picture-taking device simply steals part of the spirit of the person or animal being “cameraed.”
Please send your science questions, science lovers!
Scottsdale, AZ – In response to demands by American consumers for “more” in their lives, scientists at Bell Labs in Potsdam, MA, have invented a third principle to add to the traditional Yin and Yang: the Yem.
The Yem should be balanced in your life with the other two principles as follows:
New freakin’ episode of the “Beg for Mercy” podcast starring one of the TheDirk.com’s VPs of Marketing and John Patrick Nelson.
Click up in it to get the episode! REMEMBER: This can be (and is) quite crass.
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