Headline - Science
Scientist Discovers Use for Comparing Apples to Oranges
Los Alamos, NM - While testing new advancements in “reverse cloning,” scientists at the Los Alamos National Laboratory accidentally discovered a use for comparing apples to oranges.
“I was going out for a fruit run during a late night at the lab,” said Dr. Breshtour, lead researcher for some department at the National Laboratory. “And I axed Dr. Philips if he wanted apples or oranges. And he said, ‘What’s the difference?’ I said, ‘There’s no way to articulate that.’ And he said, ‘Then, how do you know which is an apple and which is an orange?’ And I says I says, ‘Well, one is orange, has a peelable rind, breaks up into sections; the other gots red skin and all and crunchy white insides and has maybe a slight, even statistically insignificant, better change of ever evolving speech than the other.’ And he said, ‘See? You just compared those mothers.’ And my jaw dropped. We had just accomplished something no one had in history. This breakthrough will be huge for grocery stores, fruit salad manufacturers, and anyone who has to distinguish these two fruits.”
Breshtour and Philips’ findings will be published in the Journal of the American Medical Association’s 2007 annual Summer Covalent Bond Double Ish.
