After Long Investigation, Larry Birkhead Found to Be Father of Invention

Spring ‘06 Fling with Necessity in Orlando Results in Birkhead’s Second Celebrity Child

“I was so drunk that I even thought the concept of necessity was looking pretty good. So I took it to my room. Now we got little Inventy.”

Bono Enraged with Poor Country’s Streets with No Name

Bono, during a diplomatic visit to impoverished Niger, rants, “This crap country. My limo driver can’t tell where he’s going. Get some names for your streets, buttholes! Does that cost that much? ‘Main,’ ‘Oak,’ uh… you know ‘Harvard,’ ‘Elm,’ and shit. There. I just gave you some right there for free.”

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