We beat TMZ to this one: Marvin the Martian’s voicemail to his daughter.
Archive for April, 2007
Marvin Baldwin’s Voicemail to His Daughter
Saturday, April 28th, 2007New Wizard O’s Cereal from Post!
Thursday, April 26th, 2007
The Voicemail Alec Baldwin Wishes He Left
Wednesday, April 25th, 2007Here’s a demonstration from TheDirk.com staff for Mr. Baldwin on how he could have left a much nicer voicemail to his daughter.
“The Road” Page-a-Day Calendar!
Thursday, April 19th, 2007With newfound fame thanks to Oprah, The Road paraphernalia is everywhere. Including here.
Here is another page from The Road page-a-day calendar:
Sweet New Stereotypes!
Wednesday, April 18th, 2007Hey! Times are changing! Open your mind to these new stereotypes!
“You meet the new guy in Accounts Payable? The African-American gentleman?”
“Pssh. I know who I’m picking for my golf team. Hey, if’n we have trouble with some foreign governments, we can send him over there to negotiate. Just what we need: someone who’ll force networks to take away jobs from America’s shock jocks. Gimme a break. These people.”
“You meet the new guy in Accounts Payable? The Korean-American gentleman?”
“Oh, great! Just double-check the zip codes on the stuff this guy mails out. And now his kids will go to my kids’ school and blow the grade curve in mediocre violent screenplay class. And kill them. Gimme a break. These people.”
“You meet the new guy in Accounts Payable? The Mexican-American gentleman?”
“Oh, good! Maybe I can also hire him to come to my house on weekends and take care of our attorney-generaling. His house is probably full of other Mexicans making awesome and unique movies. Gimme a break. These people.”
“You meet the new guy in Accounts Payable? The Anglo-American gentleman?”
“Pssh. Great. I know who I’m picking for my basketball team. Now I know where to go if I want to talk about HBO shows for half an hour. Better watch out: you do one thing wrong, this guy will saddle your whole race with it for the rest of eternity. Gimme a break. These people.”
Joe Morgenstern Reviews “Norbit”
Tuesday, April 17th, 2007
Joe Morgenstern, learned film critic for the Wall Street Journal and National Public Radio, reviews Eddie Murphys’s newish movie “Norbit.” Click this to hear.
Note how funny this movie looks
Office Supplies for the Crazed
Saturday, April 14th, 2007Please focus as we introduce you to the latest in our line of office supplies for the crazed! This fine desk clock is housed in the finest selection of oak and includes a vintage face with the Dark Hours covered sloppily by the likeness of hip-hop artist Heavy D as you’ve rightly come to expect in your timepiece purchases.
But our newest offering also adds rapper Ice Cube and the citrus blops he emits to amplify the traditional thud waves of The Boyz’ leader. Now, when someone asks, “How are you?” you can finally reply honestly, “Here we are! Fine! Any!”
This clock is available in both dark and territory stains.
FTD’s New Buddy Bouquet!
Friday, April 13th, 2007A classic TheDirk thing!
Wise Man Saying Something ELSE!!!
Thursday, April 12th, 2007
“Helpful hint: Use your fingers for counting! The four fingers and the thumb of the left hand and the four fingers of the right hand are perfect for counting 1 through 9. The thumb of the right hand also seems to be reasonable for finishing the count to 10.” - Wiseman
Wise Man Saying Something!
Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
“Here’s a suggestion: make scrambled eggs and then leave them sitting out in the pan for four or more hours before you eat them. They taste pretty good. Not as good as eating them right after you cooked them, but, hey, that’s life.” - Wiseman