Hillary’s Win-Win Strategy - Somehow Simultaneously Keep Troops in Iraq and Pull Them Out

Warshington, DC - Hillary Clinton, New York Senator and candidate for President of the United States, announced her new Iraq strategy this morning. And she feels that it’s a plan everyone in America will get behind–and that will get her votes.

“We need to keep the men and women of our armed services in Iraq and get the job done, and I also feel we need to pull all of our troops out of Iraq immediately,” Clinton declared to the high-ranking military officials, advisors, and consultants brunching together to discuss ongoing Iraq strategy.

After some silence, Clinton was politely asked to continue describing her plan. She replied, “That’s it. We need to keep troops there and we need to pull them out.”

“How will we do…both?” one advisor asked.

“Well, we continue to fund our troops over there. Let them know we support them and that, however, we need them to stay the course and get the job done. We’ll be able to pay for that funding from the savings we’ll gain by removing our troops from over there immediately,” Clinton explained.

The Clinton campaign looks forward to the next opinion polls. As one campaign staffer said, “We figure we’ll get a nice bump from this idea. It appeals to every side of the issue. We hope to have a 97/98% rating for Hillary this next go-around,” the staffer nodded.

Clinton will appear on the 2008 presidential ballot as “Mrs. William J. Clinton.”

This entry was posted on Friday, March 23rd, 2007 at 12:25 pm and is filed under Headline. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.