When someone approaches you today at work and says, “Hey, did-” you don’t need to hear the rest of the question. Just say, “Yes, Gatorade did release a morning version of their thirst quencher.”

That covers everything. Gatorade has their original flavor, Rain, then Frost, then Fierce. And, finally, the logical next step in the pattern: A.M. The circuit is complete. You now have a Gatorade for each…phase/weather/fierceness unit of your day.

And thank goodness. “Nearly 50% of exercisers aren’t fully hydrated before their workout,” the ad says. Didn’t know that did you? You just sit there in the cushions of your fat, happy American lifestyle. Meanwhile, people–real people–are out there doing spin class literally feeling kind of thirsty. Well, sure, you throw something in the box once a year for Toys for Half-Dry Tots and you pledge a dollar a mile for that pushy person at work who does the Annual 5K Walk for 10K Runners Who Could Use Something to Drink. But now, Gatorade’s stepped up to do something real about this issue.

What’s so “A.M.” about this stuff, anyway? Something. That’s for sure. Let’s read: “Gatorade A.M. contains no caffeine and the same scientifically proven formula as Gatorade Thirst Quencher with flavors developed to appeal to you in the morning.” So, it’s not “A.M.” in that it perks you up with a caffeine jolt. It’s “A.M.” in that it has morning…flavors. These are apparently orange-strawberry and tropical mango. Lemon-lime, orange, mango and the other traditional flavors of regular old Gatorade tasted fine to you after your dawn workouts. How would you know they’re not morning flavors? And how would you know that orange-strawberry and tropical mango Gatorades aren’t something to be sipped from your snifter by the fireplace after a fine dinner? Gatorade just told you.

So, in Darfur, there’s nothing to drink. In the U.S., there’s plenty of water, we got past that, we went to Gatorade, that got old. Now, there’s Gatorade A.M.

BONUS: Newcastle Brown Ale’s billboard campaign

Basically, the British brewer’s new billboards show a six pack of Newcastle bottles and the slogan “With Flavor This Irresistible, It’s No Wonder They Travel in Packs.” Just a simple nice humorous twist on the hip youngsters’ social rule-of-thumb that pretty women shouldn’t walk around alone or they’ll be raped.