Our Valentine’s Day cards put the “love” in “unloved.” So check out this one and, later in the week, check out other ones on this site. Okay?

Click for other Valentines from lascheer.

NASA Stalker Suspected Fellow-Astronaut Lover Was Having Trysts When He Would Leave the Shuttle Claiming to Go on “Spacewalks”

A space helmet with Lisa Nowak and flag

TrimSpa Touts that Spokeswoman Anna Nicole Smith Has Just Lost an Additional 21 Grams

More inspirational “Ol’ Coach” Murphy quotes:

“Show me someone who succeeds without trying and, if that person is a woman with enormous cans, I will pay you money.”

“I think several of you kids on this team are inherently faulty people, for whom nothing will ever work out.”

“We’re playing the Cougars tonight. I love the Cougars. I hope they win.”

Click for more “Ol’ Coach” Murphy quotes!

Comedian Finds Out the Hard Way that It’s Still Too Soon for Jokes about Pompeii Disaster

Chicago, IL - Paul Lester, a comedian who’s risen to some level of success in the Chicago/Indianapolis standup circuit, was buzzing with excitement about the fresh material he was going to try out for a nearly-packed audience at So Fuckin’ Funny’s, a popular comedy club on the Windy City’s near-North Side. But he would soon regret telling one of his new jokes.

Specifically, Lester had asked the audience if it or any portion thereof has noticed the facial expression humans generate when they turn their heads around to drive their automobile in the reverse gear. Many in the audience laughed as if to say, yes, they had noticed this. Lester then added, “They look like they’re in so much pain with that face. Like those plaster molds of the dying people you see when you tour the Pompeii ruins.”

What followed was a loud gasp followed by audience members asking each other if Lester had really said what they thought he said.

“Too soon for that, **$hole [asshole]!” a young man in dreadlocks bellowed at Lester.

“Yeah. Real funny! Thousands died that day! Hundreds of homes, steam baths, brothels, and vomitoriums were completely decimated!” shreiked another.

“My mother’s great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather died in Pompeii. And my mother is haunted by it every day. Is that f’n funny? Huh?” said another.

“No,” replied a mother of four.

“Some things just aren’t funny, jerk off,” yelled this reporter.

Lester was shaken, but stayed on stage like a consummate professional and told a joke of how convenience store cashiers are often of Middle-Eastern descent and how a solution to rid of them would be to convince them to become suicide bombers.

The audience roared with laughter and Lester was back in their good graces.