U.S. to Provide Aid to Darfur Region of Sudan with Abercrombie & Fitch Gift Card

Warshington, DC - “Speaking” to the press this morning, President Bush declared that “The United States will not sit alll around and do nothing-type of things while the people and all that in the Darfur region have all kinds of unspeakable horrors.” He then unveiled a credit card-sized piece of plastic decorated with the Abercrombie & Fitch clothing retailer’s logo and a wet gang of naked Aryanesque youths who had presumably just disrobed from the finest in distressed sweaters, cargo pants, and “Row Team 1924″ caps.

“We will be giving this gift card from Abercrombie & Fitch to the suffering in Darfur,” said Bush. “And this is, you know, worth, you know, uh…$50. So the nation can get a good pair of corduroys in its size or, heck, get whatever it wants. Who are we to say what these people should get?” Bush then said that he would personally deliver the gift card directly to Sudan President Omar al-Bashir to ensure that it gets into the right hands.

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