Bush Strongly Denies that Iraq Is in Civil War, Bush Also Wishes U.S. Citizens a “Happy Civil War Season”

Warshington, DC - Addressing a gathering of NFL Hall of Famers and homeless fans of Daft Punk this morning at a BBQ restaurant in Tupelo, Mississippi, President Bush reiterated his belief that the situation in Iraq is “definitely not a civil war.” Visibly frustrated by the barrage of questions from the press regarding whether or not the Iraqi-on-Iraqi violence is so bad that it meets the standard of a civil war, Bush responded to one such question by insisting, “So bad? Yes, it’s bad in, what’s it, Iraq. There. And that’s exactly why it isn’t a civil war!”

However, after addressing several questions on other subjects, Bush seemed to relax, injecting some of his answers with characteristic jocularity and taking his clothes off. Finally, at the end of the alloted time for press questions, Bush seemed downright cheery as he wished “all U.S. citizens a Happy Civil War Season. Time for the kids to, what, to have their toys and egg nog and all.” He then added, “But we also need to remember to put the ‘Christ’ back in ‘Civil War.’ The holiday really should be called Civichristil War.”

Father Civil War

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 28th, 2006 at 11:24 pm and is filed under Headline. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.