Archive for November, 2006
Click here for another “Celebrities: They’re Just Like Us!”
In that autumn of 1621, the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians gathered near Plymouth to have what is now the most famous of Thanksgiving feasts.
Up until now, researchers (and academics!) have been unable to find any record of the prayer the Puritans said before this meal. However, TheDirk.com staff found it at a library recently.
Here is the first Thanksgiving Day grace:
For more Puritan humor, click this!
That’s right! One of you asked for it, so here it is! The new Thanksgiving (an American holiday) episode of the “Beg for Mercy” podcast starring one of the TheDirk.com’s VPs of Marketing and John Patrick Nelson.
You got Bush serving troops turkey, you got another agent call, and you got yourself a special Thanksgiving clip of the Jack Price Comedy Hour from 1936!
Click up in it to get the episode!
It’s Approximately Time for…
1. Check out the picture below!
It’s just a couple of cows, right? Hmmm.
Look again, but in a “different” way. Now, what do you see?
(Answer: A teacup)
2. That girl always seeks you out at recess, she gives you little presents every day, and agreed to have drinks later this week!
She really likes you, right? Hmmm.
Look again, and tell you like her. Now, what do you see?
(Answer: She says you mistook her friendship for something more. She doesn’t like you!)
Click around here for more optical illusions!
- DIDYAKNOW that it’s safer to hole up in your apartment, never leave your bed, put a gun under your pillow, and never answer your door than it IS TO DRIVE A CAR!
- DIDYAKNOW that the peregrine falcon is the fastest bird in the world, flying at speeds of 168-217 miles per hour. IT CAN BE KILLED EASILY BY GUN.
- DIDYAKNOW that the toughest movie critic in history was named Tab Posten, who wrote for the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Although some witnesses still claim he didn’t quite finish doing so before collapsing in exhaustion, most of the Uncle Ben’s Film Critics Clash 2004 judges confirm that Posten did, to win the grueling finals of that competition, characterize Matthew Barney’s “The Cremaster Cycle” AS “CLICHÉ“!
Keeping You Up-to-Date with What You’ve Already Learned from Other Sites!
Rumsfeld Resigns from Kinko’s
Naperville, IL – Bryon Rumsfeld finally resigned from his post as Toner Installer at the Kinko’s in Naperville, IL. this morning. For six years, Rumsfeld has been known to severely botch copy jobs, destroy original photos he was asked to duplicate, yell at customers, and actually kill several employees by “misinstalling” color copier toner. “I would speak to him [Bryon] about these incidents, but he insisted on staying on in the job and said, ‘We just have to stay the course.’ So, of course, I supported him,” explained Katrina Wells, store manager. “There was no other option; he just wouldn’t quit.” Until today, that is. Bryon used store facilities to write his garishly-colored resignation letter and print it out on the color poster printer so that it would achieve the dimensions of 14′ x 20′. “His resignation letter depleted our budget for the year,” sighed Wells.
Colorado Defines Marriage as “Between a Man and a Pretty Lady”
Denver, CO – Colorado voters passed a ballot measure during yesterday’s voting to say no to gay marriage. Specifically, the text of the proposal stated that “A marriage is only between a man and a pretty lady, who’s all dressed up in a pretty pretty dress and has pretty flowers and is nice and sprays Pledge on furniture when it gets dusty and is all pretty.” “We felt that, since we were defining marriage in this proposal, why not really define it the way we want? Why stop at just ‘man and a woman’?” said Norman Brevor, one of the key sponsors of the bill.
“I’m not against gays per se. I just think we have to stop short of outright giving them a life that’s somewhat decent,” explained another supporter of the proposal.