Here are some more of the great jokes and bits from Bretton’s classic stand-up routines (including his classic 12 Days of Rain one-liner!):
“What is up? Huh? So, me and my wife were moving this last weekend and…do you…why do movers always do that thing where they, like…is it some requirement that movers have to put on those bunny suits? I mean….really? Do you really need to look like Peter Rabbit on steroids to move my shit? And is there a reason that movers feel like they have to trample up my new stairs to get stuff to our second floor? Call me wacky, but maybe, just maybe, they could find another way to get stuff upstairs?”
It’s been raining for 12 days straight…and it just makes life seem so flat, so…dead.
Bretton: How many people here watch that show ‘Deal or No Deal?’
Audience cheers
Bretton: No. No. I asked how many. Just cheering doesn’t give me a number. I need a good, hard number. So….let’s…fucking…try this again: how many?
