Booooo you want your house to be the most haunted on the block this Halloween?
BUY this LP and, then, play it!!
1. Satan’s Laugh (listen)
2. Black Cat
3. Witch Torturing Child
4. Death at Your Door (listen)
5. Monster Flowers Chewing on Dogs
6. Frankenstein’s Monster Is So Pissed
7. Satan’s Laugh [polite] (listen)
8. Satan’s Laugh [sarcastic] (listen)
|And for your favorite Werewolf stuff, check out the new “Beg for Mercy” podcasts by clicking thusly.|
Archive for October, 2006
The first episode of the “Beg for Mercy” podcast has been enormously popular, being mentioned on the news perhaps!
So CLICK HERE to listen to the special new Halloween episode (as well as the first episode, if you wish)! Includes “Death at Your Door” and “The Werewolf vs. the Hunchback of Notre Dame”!
The National Right to Life folks have decided that they need to lighten it up a bit in terms of their public image. Here’s an example of their new cubicle-worthy humor-based ad campaigns!
See you up some cute cubicle posters!
Here are some more of the great jokes and bits from Bretton’s classic stand-up routines (including his classic 12 Days of Rain one-liner!):
“What is up? Huh? So, me and my wife were moving this last weekend and…do you…why do movers always do that thing where they, like…is it some requirement that movers have to put on those bunny suits? I mean….really? Do you really need to look like Peter Rabbit on steroids to move my shit? And is there a reason that movers feel like they have to trample up my new stairs to get stuff to our second floor? Call me wacky, but maybe, just maybe, they could find another way to get stuff upstairs?”
It’s been raining for 12 days straight…and it just makes life seem so flat, so…dead.
Bretton: How many people here watch that show ‘Deal or No Deal?’
Bretton: No. No. I asked how many. Just cheering doesn’t give me a number. I need a good, hard number. So….let’s…fucking…try this again: how many?
- DIDYAKNOW that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body? Of course, the tongue can’t lift a Christmas tree stand like your arms can, but that’s only because the arm muscles are stronger!
- DIDYAKNOW that the heaviest man in the world, Manuel Uribe of Mexico, is so large he has to wear 8 pairs of XXL-sized pants and that, when he wears a bow tie, it appears so small compared to his large body that the resulting visual effect is strange!
- DIDYAKNOW that the record for tallest person ever imagined was broken last year by a Russian purple man conjured up in the mind of 8-year-old Lansford Crupe. The imagined man is 80,040,000,000,000′ 7″ tall as confirmed by researchers! Young Britton was quoted as stating that he thinks he can devise someone who will break the record yet again next year.