President Bush Will Flub Tonight’s Address to the Nation

Warshington, DC - During tonight’s address to the nation, which will be aired several hours from now, President Bush will flub several parts of his speech in observance of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, which occurred five years ago today.

Beginning with “As we celebrate the 5th anniversary of the attack on our nation,” Bush will continue to intersperse his somber address with slips of the tongue, made-up words, and all other varieties of mistakes of a verbal nature. “We will continue to…I…to do what shields do…they stop badness, in a way… this nation and bring a stop to terrorism” “I’ve spoken with several of the victims who are no longer with us” and “Oreos and TV ads will not tire and that can’t be us either” are some examples of Bush’s statements later tonight that will run the range of embarrassing to surreal.

Many of the network pundits who will offer their reactions to the speech will be especially amazed at how the president will have had even managed to trip up during the introductory minute of silence. “About 14 seconds into it [the moment of silence], Bush started doing silence really dumbly somehow. I didn’t know it was possible, but he did it, and it was tremendously embarrassing,” Eleanor Clift will remark after NBC’s live broadcast of the address.

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