A Pheron Dialogue about SUVs!
Pheron, who lived several centuries prior to the birth of Jesus H. Christ, the main character of the Bible, is considered the leader of a school of thought typically referred to as something. Pheron’s apprentice and another ancient Athenian thinker, John Cho, wrote the Pheronic dialogues to record the man’s philosophies and dialectic methods which influence Western and Mid-Western thought today still. One of them is right below:
Cart Before the Horse
Child: I’m sorry, Pheron. I seem to be intruding on some gardening activity of some sort.
Pheron: No. That is not what I’m doing. Is there something of which you wish to discuss?
Child: I saw a very large cart in the front quarters of your property. The cart is so large in fact that it nearly covers your small parcel.
Pheron: That is my new cart.
Child: Why did you purchase it? Did your other cart come to be damaged?
Pheron: No, I felt it was not big enough.
Child: For hauling your…philosophy items?
Pheron: That’s right.
Child: It seems that it was of plenty volume to hold whatever you may have carried.
Pheron: Well, I also wish to be able to see above the other carts. So many of them are so large these days and nights.
Child: But they wouldn’t be so big if citizens did not keep purchasing bigger and bigger carts.
Pheron: Well, I feel more protected in a big cart.
Child: But does not the bigger cart turn over easier?
Pheron: Well, the bigger cart is very manly.
Child: Ah! This I understand. Thank you. You are lit with something so akin to truth as to be no different than it. You are indeed a hero for buying this cart which is too big. Have you horses to pull it?
Pheron: Not as of yet. I cannot afford them.
Child: I must say, I always look forward to our discussions, dear Pheron.
Pheron:
Child: I said, “I always look-”
Pheron: Good bye.
