DIDYAKNOW that the mug was originally invented as a religion! It was only after the second disastrous Mugmas that a certain peasant woman realized that all she believed in was wrong. Crushed at this realization, the woman did however discover that her “religion” was an excellent means of distributing MEAD TO HER MOUTH!
DIDYAKNOW that the ant can carry more than 100 times its weight! If a human could do that, he’d be able to lift the equivalent of a heavy TV with NO STRAIN!
Bailey McAdams here, right-wing columnist for TheDirk.com.
Anyway, the Liberals fought the anti-flag-burning amendment tooth and long, prissy nail once again. Is it any wonder the economy is falling apart? What I love is that the Democrats are for burning the flag, the very symbol of the country and all it stands for, but they’re against even the mere burning of the houses of Iraqi families. Seems hypocritical to me, but, hey, no more Mr. A-hole Guy for me.
You see, I designed a flag just for the Liberals, and they can burn it all they want, so they can leave our flag alone. (Below is the official flag description.)
(1) Upon a blue field in the canton, 19 white stars, each representing one of the 19 typically Democratic-voting states. White quote marks around each to symbolize that, however, these “Democratic states” actually belong to the Republican-run country of which they are a mere part.
(2) Large amount of empty blue space (remaining after the very few Democratic states are accounted for) represents Liberals’ belief in leaving undeveloped land fallow and untouched by progress and productivity and malls.
(3) Alternating red and white stripes, the colors of which do noticeably run, represent nothing, which is most likely “cool” with Liberals.
(4) Colors of lower-half of the flag are those of the Mexican standard, symbolizing the Liberals’ firmly-held belief that illegal Mexican immigrants may enter this country at will and have the right to everything under the sun, even emergency health care.
(5) Horizontally-displayed through the center of the standard, printed the sentence “You may tread on me. Can I also offer you a joint or vegetarian jerky?” Thus representing the ideal Liberals have expressed, through their displeasure with the Iraq War of 2003-?, that terrorists should be allowed to enter our country at will and kill our children.
(6) Displayed in the lower-center of the standard, an eagle and squirrel in romantic embrace. This suggests the Liberal practice of defying the law of God to allow any kind of unnatural act such as gay marriage or long hair for men.
Click fer some more cubicle posters
“To assume makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me.’ But to hugefreakingdumbassume is much worse.”
-Wise Man
Thousands of you, nay, several of you replied to TheDirk.com post of June 29, 2006AD with what your porn star name was when applying the rules of first name is the name of your childhood pet, and your last name is the name of the street you grew up on. Here are the top four thus far:
1.) General Huge Erection (of the Penis)
2.) Ms. McFancySchmancy 23rd
3.) Everytime I Eat Ketchup, I Want to Maek Love. (Almost a full English sentence!! Darn you, Want to Maek Love. Ave.!)
4.) Whore Valley Pines
Thanx everyone!
Hey, Dr. Science-Patterson! How do plants nourish themselves? – Plant Lover in Prior Springs, MI
Dear, Plant Lover A plant will first acquire its “food” (really just the sunlight) and “put it in its mouth” and “chew and swallow” “it.”
Hey, Dr. Science-Patterson! Hey, one of my friends told me that the tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable. I was very surprised to hear this. Is it true? – Wonderin’ in Wichita, KS
Dear, Wonderin’ in Wichita The scientific definition of fruit is that it be stuff like apples and oranges and all that. The tomato does not belong to this category (or, if it did, it would be very surprising).
Often times, political cartoons make their point with a heavy dose of symbolism or a hilarious just-right metaphor (click here for an example type thing).
But this recent cartoon from the Des Plaines Dealer seems to make its point more simply:
from the Des Plaines Dealer, April 17, 2006
For more political cartoons, click here.
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