Quick Headlines!
Here’s Some Quick Headlines!
Bush Accidentally Says, “I’m a Jelly Doughnut” when Trying to Speak English - President Bush, addressing the Board of Commerce of Chicago this morning, attempted to greet the board members with a “Today, I’m a Chicagoan!” in their own language, English. But what the board members heard, when strictly translating what Bush said into English was closer to “I’m a jelly doughnut!” Bush realized he flubbed and shrugged when he heard the good-humored chuckles of his audience. “Hey, at least he tried to greet us in English. I think that was tremendously respectful to our culture,” said board member Daniel Dixon.
“Toe” to Be Added to Dictionary - The wordphiles at The New Oxford American Dictionary announced that along with “podcast,” “texting,” and “butogl” they would be adding “toe” for the first time to this year’s edition of the popular book that tells you what things are. “It’s simply undeniable, for better or worse, that ‘toe’ is becoming a widely-used and widely-understood term in The United States these days,” explained TNOAD editor Katherine Pressley. The word “toe” was introduced to our vernacular as teenagers came up with the slang term for the terminal digit of the foot in the mid-1300s, but it was soon part of seemingly almost everyone’s vocabulary, young or old, within less than 700 years. “I can’t believe we’re legitimizing this disgusting word that was basically invented by rapscallions. ‘One-fifth of the foot fist’ was a perfectly reasonable and honorable way of referring to that thing!” lamented Mrs. Orville, 76, of Byron, Ohio. Oh, well, guess we can’t always get what we wa-toe-nt!