Bailey McAdams here, right-wing columnist for TheDirk.com.
Anyway, the Liberals fought the anti-flag-burning amendment tooth and long, prissy nail once again. Is it any wonder the economy is falling apart? What I love is that the Democrats are for burning the flag, the very symbol of the country and all it stands for, but they’re against even the mere burning of the houses of Iraqi families. Seems hypocritical to me, but, hey, no more Mr. A-hole Guy for me.
You see, I designed a flag just for the Liberals, and they can burn it all they want, so they can leave our flag alone. (Below is the official flag description.)
(1) Upon a blue field in the canton, 19 white stars, each representing one of the 19 typically Democratic-voting states. White quote marks around each to symbolize that, however, these “Democratic states” actually belong to the Republican-run country of which they are a mere part.
(2) Large amount of empty blue space (remaining after the very few Democratic states are accounted for) represents Liberals’ belief in leaving undeveloped land fallow and untouched by progress and productivity and malls.
(3) Alternating red and white stripes, the colors of which do noticeably run, represent nothing, which is most likely “cool” with Liberals.
(4) Colors of lower-half of the flag are those of the Mexican standard, symbolizing the Liberals’ firmly-held belief that illegal Mexican immigrants may enter this country at will and have the right to everything under the sun, even emergency health care.
(5) Horizontally-displayed through the center of the standard, printed the sentence “You may tread on me. Can I also offer you a joint or vegetarian jerky?” Thus representing the ideal Liberals have expressed, through their displeasure with the Iraq War of 2003-?, that terrorists should be allowed to enter our country at will and kill our children.
(6) Displayed in the lower-center of the standard, an eagle and squirrel in romantic embrace. This suggests the Liberal practice of defying the law of God to allow any kind of unnatural act such as gay marriage or long hair for men.
The ignorance of these comments, president Bush and the idiots that follow him overwhelm me! The question at hand is if we will have a country to hang your precious flag when the Bush leads the country down the path of self destruction. I wish there were a stonger form of the word “stupid” I could use that could describe how stupid your ideals are!
As far as I am concerned burn the fucking flag, if it represents people like you it aint worth much!
faulty logic, ad hominem attack on an entire group, bad artwork. in a word, dumb.
you know, if people like you think that all of us need an amendment to tell us that burning the flag is wrong, when we all already know better, then people like you need a nanny, not a free country. leave our constitution alone and out of your petty distractions and chest thumping. what a waste of time…just like the samesex marriage issue you all seem to have that affects you not a lick, just like every other choice you want to control for everyone due to your own self-agrandisement. have you never heard of personal honor and responsibility? no…didn’t think so. go away. seriously.
[...] A Flag Just for Burning! [...]
You’re sure that the nineteen stars aren’t for the nineteen republicans who voted against denouncing amnesty for insurgents who kill our troops?
http://www.senate.gov/legislative/LIS/roll_call_lists/roll_call_vote_cfm.cfm?congress=109&session=2&vote=00178#position
The Dirk is every bit as stupid and ignorant as he looks. What a moron…
Hey. Is it just me or are all you guys missing Dirk’s satire here?
I think he’s pulling a “Stephen Colbert” – nothing here sounds even slightly serious.
If Dirk’s comments were on Comedy Central, you’d think it was a riot.
You kids need to take your irony pill this morning.
You could burn every flag in this country and it still wouldn’t be worth the life of one of our children. Let’s keep things in perspective.
If this was meant to be humor, I’m not up for it. The right wing has used the Constitution for its latrine and I want to burn every flag I see because of it.
“What I love is that the Democrats are against burning the flag, the very symbol of the country and all it stands for, but they’re against even the mere burning of the houses of Iraqi families.”
Am I the only one confused about this comment? At whom is he aiming this remark, the Democrats that are against the burning of the flag, or the Neocons who get their jollies burning Iraqi families’ homes, with them in them–but not, of course, until they’ve raped their fifteen-year-old daughter TO DEATH!
Now THERE’s a cause to get behind!
The words that come to mind to describe you, Mr. theDirk (looks like one wrong letter there) would undoubtedly get this comment removed. I’ll let you (and some of the more intelligent readers here) use your imagination.
Confused
The voices of children
stephen colbert he ain’t. a rewrite may be in order. with colbert’s writers. i still don’t get the humor even after being told this. and no i wouldn’t laugh on it on comedy central either.
It was clear enough to me that the piece was satire. True, it wasn’t particularly well-done, but you’d have to be pretty dumb, or just completely humorless to interpret this as being a straightup wingnut lampooning.
If I am wrong, well then Mr. Voetberg really is stupid. Hmm….he has a Rudy Giuliani ad posted.
OK, I take it back. Every time I see a Republican politician I want to wrap him up in a US flag and then burn it.
I just want to note (only because I’m self-conscious of this) AND I’m not trying to say anything about my stuff’s quality in comparison to Colbert at all…BUT, I just don’t want people thinking I’m trying to rip him off; I actually started this character back in 2004 before Colbert started his show (as you can see by other McAdams colums on this site). SO again, please don’t think I’m trying to rip the guy off.
Dirk
Also, please note that the ads that show up on my site are generated by Google based on keywords in my content. So, if it looks like I\’m advertising for Guliani, I\’m not aware of it. The Google ad robot program seems to think the piece is for real as well, so you who think it is aren\’t alone.
Maybe we could focus on real issues such as remedy for a Bush highjacked and fucked country and illegal wars instead of the handful of flags that might get burned aside from those burned by the VFW each year.
Good work, Bailey. Would you like to advise our next GOP elected president in 2008?
You seem to know where to hit them where it hurts. You just have to know how to spin it.
Keep up the good work. We’ll be watching you.
By the way, my husband is a bald bastard.
You commenters are making me cry. YES, this is a satire, as you easily could have discovered by clicking the “More Bailey McAdams columns” link, or merely checking out more of the site, or merely noticing some of the too-ridiculous-even-for-Ann-Coulter observations in the column. And YES it is brilliant.