Bush’s Approval Rating So Miniscule that Some May Find It “Cute”
Warshington, DC - Yesterday, President Bush’s approval rating reached a new low of 29%. This could trigger what some experts of statistics (or, “staticulars”) term the “Awwww! Effect.” “The approval rating is so small, that several demographics are likely to find it literally reaches the level of cute, much in the same way audiences responded to the Baby Looney Tunes characters or the way most people react to the crying babies in flower pots as portrayed by master photographer Anne Geddes,” said Millie Reynolds, professor of public policy statistics at the University of Oregon, where, most likely, underage drinking runs rampant. “And, ironically, this could cause the approval rating to actually rise. Maybe even by as much as 10 points.” Confirming what she said, Reynolds held up 10 fingers.
A sign that professor Reynold’s hunch may not be just a hunch is that Hasbro has reportedly begun production of their new “Bush Approvy Woovy” line of plush stuffed toys to be sold at stores by this summer.
Hey, Dr. Science-Patterson! I forget, what’s that popular mnemonic device we were all taught as youngsters to remember the order of the planets in our solar system? - Forgetful in Philadelphia
Dear Forgetful in Philadelphia - The answer to your question is two-fold: First, I’m smarter than you. Secondly, I don’t know what you learned, but the mnemonic device I teach my students at the University is “Mary said that Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune are planets.” The “m” in Mary stands for Mercury, the “s” in “said” for the planet Sorion, the “that” doesn’t stand for anything, and the “p” in “planets” stands for Pluto.
“You’ve Been Had!” is a prank show that’s somehow different than the others! Produced by Paper and Plastic Films, directed by John P. Nelson, and written and co-starring one of our VPs of Marketing, in this first episode we take a look at gay marriage.
Q: What weighs more: twenty pounds of feathers or twenty pounds of lead?
A: Twenty pounds of lead! Think about it! When you think of lead you think “Ooh. That’s heavy.” When you think of feathers, you think “Ooh. They’re light.”
Q: How many F’s do you count in the following passage? Huh? “Finished files are the result of years of scientific study combined with the experience of years…”
A: If you counted 3 or less, you’re of average intelligence; if you counted 4-5, you are of above average intelligence; if you counted 6, you are a genius; if you counted 7-42, you are a super genius.
Click here to read the Dirkipedia article on Dr. Dre! The cool thing about Dirkipedia compared to Wikipedia is that it’s not hung up on being all “FC” (factually correct) all the time.
One of our VPs of Marketing, Dirk Vortberg (sp?) banks with Bank of America. Earlier today, he went online to check on his account. We’re proud to announce that he subsequently successfully signed out of that same online account! Congratulations, Dirk! Check it out!
Warshington, DC - Yesterday, President Bush’s approval rating reached a new low of 29%. This could trigger what some experts of statistics (or, “staticulars”) term the “Awwww! Effect.” “The approval rating is so small, that several demographics are likely to find it literally reaches the level of cute, much in the same way audiences responded to the Baby Looney Tunes characters or the way most people react to the crying babies in flower pots as portrayed by master photographer Anne Geddes,” said Millie Reynolds, professor of public policy statistics at the University of Oregon, where, most likely, underage drinking runs rampant. “And, ironically, this could cause the approval rating to actually rise. Maybe even by as much as 10 points.” Confirming what she said, Reynolds held up 10 fingers.
Hey, Dr. Science-Patterson! I forget, what’s that popular mnemonic device we were all taught as youngsters to remember the order of the planets in our solar system? - Forgetful in Philadelphia
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