DIDYAKNOW that the bountiful bunny pictured to the right is 3 feet and over 20 pounds! AND the man holding him is only 5 feet, so, therefore, the rabbit is actually a little smaller than it seems in the picture!
DIDYANKOW that instead of hunting for candy and dyed eggs on Easter morn like America children do, kids in China don’t do that!
DIDYAKNOW that the tradition of wrestling on a floor covered in tangerines and ceramic mugs is meant to symbolize the suffering of Jesus H. Christ as he died on the cross!
Hey, Dr. Science-Patterson! I’m like 8 years old and like I was um…throwing this thing around and started noticing that like, if I threw the thing real fast, some energy was emitted and I started noticing that like E=mc1.8 or something close to that. Has anyone else like noticed this? Curious in Like Clinton, IA
Hey, Curious in Clintonish, IA! No, no one’s noticed it because it’s like wrong. If I were you, I would steer clear of any scientific pursuits.
The Dirkipedia: a free encyclopedia for such as yourself! In addition to the article on when people cover their car seats with t-shirts, we now have one on something called “Communism”! Click here to read what was just described!
One of US Weekly’s most popular features is “Celebrities Are Just Like Us!” which reminds readers every week that our favorite stars are really just regular human beings who do regular human being things. But to get to “Celebrities Are Just Like Us!” in the magazine, you have to flip through a bunch of those page things. So, for your convenience, we present this week’s installment to you directly below:
Libby Implicates His Boss Bush; Bush In Turn Implicates His “Boss”
Warshington, DC – Asked to respond to I. Lewis Libby’s testimony that he approved of the release of top-secret government information regarding Iraq’s nuclear ambitions to the press, President Bush replied that he did indeed okay the leak but only because “my boss approved me to approve it.” Asked who this “boss” is, Bush stammered, “Uh…You know. My boss. The…Director of…the Presi…dent.” Further queried by a suspicious reporter to describe the man or woman who apparently enjoys executive authority above that of the president, Bush impatiently elaborated: “Well, it’s a he of course, being the boss and all. And he…uh chews on a cigar all the time and, when he gets mad, he hammers on the desk and says things like ‘Do what I say!’ and uh ‘I’ve got my eye on you, Bush!’ and ‘Leak these things.’ You know. You all have bosses, right? I mean, who do you think signs my timesheets?”
Asked if he was maybe attempting to imply a metaphor i.e., that God is his boss, Bush replied, “No. I’m trying to imply the metaphor that my boss is my boss.” As more hands shot up in the confused press pool, a thunderous voice over the intercom blared, “Bush, you better have those Johnson account reports on my desk within the hour or so help me…!”
The news is abuzz with the recently found “Gospel of Judas,” but what of the “Gospel of Terry,” which was rejected for inclusion in the Bible by its publisher?
Hey, Dr. Science-Patterson! I know you’re a person of science, so do you believe in God? - Inquisitive in Irlia, Rhode Island
Dear Inquisitive in Irlia, RI - I do believe in God; I’m just not that impressed with Him. He supposedly created the universe in six days but, if you gave me six full days to do something, no one else is around and nothing else yet exists that can get in the way and be a distraction (e.g., super balls, margarine, shots), I could make something pretty cool too.
Click this to look at and read never-before-seen lyrics written for “Ol’ Blue Eyes” “Chairman of the Board” “City of Big Shoulders”–Mr. Frank Sinatra (including a song he wrote hisself)!
Call a meeting and get everyone you work with in a conference room. Proceed to discuss work-related topics. Then, suddenly, hover over the conference room table like a ghost! Check out the look on everyone’s face! They’ll literally think you’ve got magical powers!
DIDYAKNOW that the bountiful bunny pictured to the right is 3 feet and over 20 pounds! AND the man holding him is only 5 feet, so, therefore, the rabbit is actually a little smaller than it seems in the picture!
Hey, Dr. Science-Patterson! I’m like 8 years old and like I was um…throwing this thing around and started noticing that like, if I threw the thing real fast, some energy was emitted and I started noticing that like E=mc1.8 or something close to that. Has anyone else like noticed this? Curious in Like Clinton, IA
The Dirkipedia: a free encyclopedia for such as yourself! In addition to the article on when people cover their car seats with t-shirts, we now have one on something called “Communism”! 
Warshington, DC – Asked to respond to I. Lewis Libby’s testimony that he approved of the release of top-secret government information regarding Iraq’s nuclear ambitions to the press, President Bush replied that he did indeed okay the leak but only because “my boss approved me to approve it.” Asked who this “boss” is, Bush stammered, “Uh…You know. My boss. The…Director of…the Presi…dent.” Further queried by a suspicious reporter to describe the man or woman who apparently enjoys executive authority above that of the president, Bush impatiently elaborated: “Well, it’s a he of course, being the boss and all. And he…uh chews on a cigar all the time and, when he gets mad, he hammers on the desk and says things like ‘Do what I say!’ and uh ‘I’ve got my eye on you, Bush!’ and ‘Leak these things.’ You know. You all have bosses, right? I mean, who do you think signs my timesheets?”
The news is abuzz with the recently found “Gospel of Judas,” but what of the “
Hey, Dr. Science-Patterson! I know you’re a person of science, so do you believe in God? - Inquisitive in Irlia, Rhode Island
