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Headline - President Bush

Libby Implicates His Boss Bush; Bush In Turn Implicates His “Boss”

headline1.jpgWarshington, DC – Asked to respond to I. Lewis Libby’s testimony that he approved of the release of top-secret government information regarding Iraq’s nuclear ambitions to the press, President Bush replied that he did indeed okay the leak but only because “my boss approved me to approve it.” Asked who this “boss” is, Bush stammered, “Uh…You know. My boss. The…Director of…the Presi…dent.” Further queried by a suspicious reporter to describe the man or woman who apparently enjoys executive authority above that of the president, Bush impatiently elaborated: “Well, it’s a he of course, being the boss and all. And he…uh chews on a cigar all the time and, when he gets mad, he hammers on the desk and says things like ‘Do what I say!’ and uh ‘I’ve got my eye on you, Bush!’ and ‘Leak these things.’ You know. You all have bosses, right? I mean, who do you think signs my timesheets?”

Asked if he was maybe attempting to imply a metaphor i.e., that God is his boss, Bush replied, “No. I’m trying to imply the metaphor that my boss is my boss.” As more hands shot up in the confused press pool, a thunderous voice over the intercom blared, “Bush, you better have those Johnson account reports on my desk within the hour or so help me…!”

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2 Responses to “Headline - President Bush”

  1. Andrew Ian Murphy Says:

    Well, in the world of dark conspiracies, Bush probably does have a boss.

  2. Eureka Says:

    Come on, this is far too easy. Bush’s boss is obviously the hemorrhoid on his pimply ass named Dick “Never Meet A Plutocrat I Didn’t Like” Cheney, aka Satan, aka Prince of Absolute Evil, aka Shit Burger, aka Shit-Fer-Brains, aka The Man With Oil In His Veins, aka Penis Wrinkle, aka Ain’t Been Laid in Decades, aka…

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