Bush Sees Hypocrisy in Acceptance of McClatchy’s Purchase of Knight Ridder

“Oh, I see. You all don’t want Arabs running our ports, but you’ll let some Mick run our newspapers!” rants the President.

WARSHINGTON, DC - Worried that many of our nation’s newspapers are at risk of taking on the same lyrical flavor that characterizes much of Irish literature, George Bush, a President of the United States, admonished the public for accepting the purchase of “Knight Rider (sic)” by the McClatchy newspaper chain, claiming this is more dangerous for our country than when the United Arab Emirates proposed management of many U.S. ports — a move many Americans denounced. “And what if these now-Paddy-owned newspapers are forced to start writing in stream-of-consciousness?” Bush posed, referring to a writing style mastered by one of the giants of Irish literature, James Joyce.

Speaking in a stream-of-consciousness style mastered by one of the giants of Irish literature, James Joyce, the President continued to somehow both acknowledge that Knight Ridder is a newspaper chain and also think that it is the famous “smart” car portrayed in TV’s “Knight Rider.” The fact that the car is actually named KITT and not Knight Rider completed an almost fugue-like bout of confusion as Mr. Bush attempted to speak to the kindergarten class of PS 184 in New York City this morning. “The dimensions of the President’s discombobulation right now is almost…beautiful,” marvelled teacher Karen Price as she listened the President. “When this McClatchy fellow is out on a joy ride, probably drunk, I hope Knight Rider is smart enough to take him over a cliff,” said Mr. Bush.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 13th, 2006 at 3:06 pm and is filed under Headline. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.