Hey, Dr. Science-Patterson! Why do leaves change color during the fall? – Autumn Cherub in Maine
Dear Whatever in Maine: Though this seems like one of those questions that could find its answer through the process of scientific study, it’s actually just an excellently disguised rhetorical question. You’ll have to look within yourself or something to find the answer.
We all get e-mails all day long! Here’s some more to look at! From our friends over there at LX Solution Systems!
We appreciate the positive comments our Amazon reviewer has garnered from other Amazon reviewers. Check them out:
Our resident Amazon reviewer found the new Beatles LP, “Rubber Soul,” an unfortunate turn for the worse. Will the once-invincible Beatles be able to weather the storm of this unequivocal bomb?
Click here to read the review.
In the late 20′s, many so-called experts proclaimed that introducing sound to the motion picture would ruin the industry. Well, it turns out these so-called experts were right! Numbers and the text that annotate them show that the “talkies” bring in less ticket sales year after year. Yes, the 70-some-year fad has finally lost its novelty. Click here to watch the first of the new “quieties” (for lack of a better term such as “silent movies”). It literally stars the hilarious slapstick team of Kurt Schenk and one of our VPs of Marketing, Dirk Voetberg, and was helmed by the great Craig Shaynak.
Director and Producer: Craig Shaynak
Actors: Kurt Schenk, Dirk Voetberg
“‘Catch a fish for someone, feed them for a day; show them how to fish, feed them for life’ is no longer true. Showing someone how to fish feeds them for only 49 years.”
-Wise Man
DIDYAKNOW that a large percentage of the human body is water? As a matter of fact, it’s a LARGER PERCENTAGE THAN YOU MAY HAVE GUESSED!
DIDYAKNOW that the tallest man in the world is ONLY 6’2″ TALL! THAT’S SHORTER THAN MOST NBA ATHLETES!
DIDYAKNOW that, because prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, there was no other professions by which clients could earn money to pay the first hookers. So it was at this point that men invented love as a means of OBTAINING SEX FOR FREE!
DIDYAKNOW that, in ancient Egypt, cats were considered gods! And that, also in ancient Egypt, gods were considered useless, neurotic PAINS IN THE ASSES THAT PISSED ON FURNITURE!
Hey, Dr. Science-Patterson! What exactly is the vernal equinox? – Quizzical in Camarillo
Dear Quizzical in Camarillo: This is a question you should already know the answer to. But, okay…Let’s use an analogy to explain it. Pretend that, say, a penny is the Earth. The vernal equinox is when the Sun, which moves along the Eliptic, occupies the point that crosses the Equator while heading north. (You can use something to represent the Eliptic.)
St. Patrick’s Day is coming up and it’s time to celebrate all things Irish for whatever reason! O’click here to check out our picture book versions of classic Irish literature!
What’s the thang in hip-hop nowadays? Beatboxing? Nah, fool. Why would you even say that? That went out with the hi-top fade and “phat”! Hows about lyrics that can be transformed into furniture! Hell no! That’z still 2 decades in da future, cousin! Uh uh. Where it’z at right now is mashups! Takin’ 2 or more trax and puttin’ ‘em together all seamless and like that to make a brand new mad track that’z a piece of art in and of itself!
Our intern at TheDirk.com’s produce department, DJ Wyle Chyle, has labbed a mashup of Brian Wilson’s “Our Prayer/Gee” and Jay-Z’s “Change Clothes” just for you all under his moniker DJ Hardwood Flaaahzzz.
Click up on this piece to download the mad hit “Change Clothes, Then Pray”!
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