Morristown, NJ - This small tranquil town of 6 or 10 thousand people has learned to accept a few of the more unpleasant trappings of modernity that make their way over from the nearby larger cities. Upticks in gang crime, speakeasies, and teenage pregnancies have all struck the residents of Morristown during the last several years, and they’ve worked together to deal with them.
But an incident of once-rare signage defacement is the last straw for one local restaurateur Gerry Katzmann. Earlier this year, in light of another unfortunate trend of late, Katzmann finally had to post a sign in the parking lot behind his BBQ restaurant, The Second Saddle, that reads, “Pee Limit 5.”
“People were going to the parking lot and peeing 6, 7, or even 8. I didn’t want to put an ugly sign out there, but I finally had to.”
But within weeks, the new sign had been vandalized to read, “Speed Limit 5,” with the “S” and the “d” sloppily rendered in black marker.
“I realized something was wrong when customers were coming (into the restaurant). And they would be chuckling to each other about speed limits and (rubbing each other and) sarcastically saying, “Hey, slow down” to each other and stuff. I went outside and saw what some jerk kid did to my expensive sign,” said Katzmann. “Ha ha. Very funny.”
This is the second known incident in recent months. In early March, the Shove It Up an A-Hole trophy shop found all of its outdoor signage stolen one morning.
Elgin, IL - Brian O’Keefe and Jason Otterman, co-founders of the Marigold & White funeral home in Elgin, IL, decided they wanted to make a change.
As many of us know, Jake Tchaikovsky, dressed in the large foam Rusty the Shivering Marigold & White Lion costume, has stood out front of the Ann Street location every weekend day since 1985, shivering and helping bring attention to the popular funeral home’s various sales promotions and special Fourth of July events. But, starting this Saturday, while most passers-by will technically be able to wave back at things, they won’t be able to wave back at Rusty. Because he won’t be there to be waved-back to.
“We just thought the image of a lion was a little out-dated,” said Otterman in a sort of telephone interview. “There are fewer of them in the wild every year, and someday they’ll be gone. So, while we’ll always remember Rusty in our hearts, we’ve decided on a new mascot that better represents the spirit of Marigold & White.”
Tchaikovsky will now sport an anthropomorphic hamburger costume as the new face of Marigold & White, Harry the Hamburger.
“Harry The Hamburger. That’s our guy. And, while he’s nowhere near the best representation of the spirit of Marigold & White, he is, we think, a better representation than a lion,” said Otterman.
A mock funeral for Rusty the Shivering Lion will be held at the Marigold & White Funeral Home, Thursday evening at 5:30 PM.
Harry the Hamburger, the new mascot for Marigold & White Funeral Home
There are literally three sketches here. Again, one of our VPs of Marketing is in the group (Elders of The Dark Tower [of Xxoron]) and they were asked to a live spot for the Revver video site’s live event in Los Angeles this last Thursdee.
Suppose you’re in the woods or a forest or an entity such as that and come upon a wide creek. But there’s more to this puzzle: Suppose there are three others beside you in the party and you have only one canoe. Only two people can fit in the canoe at any one time. You need to get all four of you across the creek and must do it within 11 trips across.
What do you do?
ANSWER: Take one person over to the other side, row back, take another person to the other side, row back, take the last person to the other side. You have all now crossed the creek. You do not have to use the additional six trips allotted to you unless you want to.
Britt Landon, one of our Vice Presidents of Marketing, went into the office kitchen today, which is also free bagel day, approached one of our sales associates, Cynthia Buh, and said, without any prompting from her, “No, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is not dead yet. You’re thinking of Wilt Chamberlain.”
Cynthia replied, “How…How did you know what I was thinking? You read my mind!”
“No, I didn’t! April Fools’!” Britt exclaimed.
Cynthia cracked up and said, “You got me. Very funny.”
